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THE BEER CANDLE (Glass)
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Our Price: $5.95
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THE BEER CANDLE -- Turn you living room into a bar with the intoxicating aroma of a hundred beers.
We've been told that this candle smells like everything from a fancy microbrew to a fraternity house floor. We just think it smells like Heaven. Enjoy it on its own, or pair it with some of our other candles.
Here's a few suggestions:
BEER + STRIPPER + COFFEE = BACHELOR PARTY
BEER + GRASS + CAMPFIRE = CAMPING TRIP
BEER + GRASS + PIGSKIN = GAMEDAY
BEER + CAMPFIRE + HIPPIE = DRUM CIRCLE
BEER + URINAL CAKE + HIPPIE = CONCERT PARKING LOT
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THE CAMPFIRE CANDLE (Glass)
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Our Price: $5.95
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THE CAMPFIRE CANDLE -- Capture the scent of a camping trip without the bugs, bears or effort.
This candle will remind you of a crackling fire on a cold autumn day... well, that's how another cheesy candle company might describe it. We think it'll just make you want to wipe with leaves. This is a great gift for your favorite outdoorsman or flannel enthusiast.
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THE COFFEE CANDLE (Glass)
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Our Price: $5.95
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THE COFFEE CANDLE -- Savor the coffeehouse scent without the grande, no whip, extra hot, cinnamon latte atmosphere.
This candle smells like strong, black coffee. You know, the stuff you have to wait 20 minutes for in Starbucks while everyone in front of you orders thousand calorie concoctions of foam, soy and chocolate syrup. It's probably psychosomatic but the smell of these candles makes us a bit hyper. This is a great gift for any "old school" coffee lover.
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THE DRYER SHEET CANDLE (Glass)
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Our Price: $5.95
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THE DRYER SHEET CANDLE -- Smell fresh. Never do laundry again.
If you love the smell of dryer exhaust or ever wondered if you could knit a blanket from lint in the filter, than this is your candle. No snuggle bears were harmed in the making of these candles (although we wanted to).
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THE FRESH BREAD CANDLE (Glass)
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Our Price: $5.95
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THE FRESH BREAD CANDLE -- The best thing since actual sliced bread.
If you're anything like us, the idea of baking your own bread is about as likely as building your own nuclear submarine. It's not going to happen, and if you attempt either, you'll probably die in the process. No worries, pretending you can do something is often as gratifying as actually doing it. So go ahead and buy your Wonder Bread, light your FRESH BREAD CANDLE, and get cracking on your submarine blueprints.
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THE GRASS CANDLE (Glass)
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Our Price: $5.95
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THE GRASS CANDLE -- All the pleasure of a freshly mowed lawn without any of the work.
There aren't too many smells that bring back as many memories as freshly mowed grass. Thank you chlorophyll! The unfortunate thing is you actually have to mow the lawn to have these memories. Well not anymore! One whiff of THE GRASS CANDLE and you'll be magically transported to the golf course, high school football practice, or crappy summer chores. This is a great gift for athletes, city dwellers and the incredibly lazy.
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THE HIPPIE CANDLE (Glass)
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Our Price: $5.95
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THE HIPPIE CANDLE -- Treat yourself to a candle and a contact high... don't smoke the candle.
Say "NO" to drugs, say "YES" to candles that smell like drugs! Yes, THE HIPPIE CANDLE smells like pot, but it won't get you high and it is legal. This is a great gift for your favorite stoner, college student, or one of those wookie looking dudes that wanders around concert parking lots selling bean burritos and hemp necklaces.
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THE MAN CANDLE (Glass)
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Our Price: $5.95
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THE MAN CANDLE -- Finally, a candle that smells as cool as you.
For a long time we labored over a compliment to THE STRIPPER CANDLE, some shamelessly sexist way to offend men like we did the women folk. Working names were "THE GUIDO CANDLE" or "THE GIGALO CANDLE." Basically, we wanted a candle that smelled like a lot of cologne... and chest hair. But just as Edison discovered the light bulb while building an electric chair for mice (yep, true), our experiments ended up yielding something unintentionally... good. Yes, THE MAN CANDLE smells good, like an idealized version of what a man could smell like given proper hygiene and grooming.
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THE MOUTHWASH CANDLE (Glass)
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Our Price: $5.95
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THE MOUTHWASH CANDLE -- If your house could gargle, it'd smell like this.
Have you ever wondered why oral hygiene products smell like mint, but household hygiene products smell like ammonia? We think about that... a lot. Peppermint scented Windex seems like a fantastic idea. Anyway, consider THE MOUTHWASH CANDLE one small step in the right direction.
This candle is a great bathroom companion, and when combined with THE URINAL CAKE CANDLE, it creates a near invincible odor shield in your "home office."
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THE NEW CAR CANDLE (Glass)
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Our Price: $5.95
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THE NEW CAR CANDLE -- New car smell, no haggling. Wax and wick come standard.
This candle smells more like the soft Nappa leather seats in a shiny new Benz than the vinyl dashboard of a new Kia. Burn this in your living room and every seat becomes the "back seat."
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THE PANCAKE CANDLE (Glass)
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Our Price: $5.95
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THE PANCAKE CANDLE -- Treat yourself to the smell of pancakes and maple syrup 24 hours a day. No spatula required.
If you've ever seriously debated the merits of Mrs. Butterworth over Aunt Jemima, then this candle is for you. Combine THE PANCAKE CANDLE with THE COFFEE CANDLE and THE URINAL CAKE CANDLE for the perfect morning.
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THE PIGSKIN CANDLE (Glass)
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Our Price: $5.95
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THE PIGSKIN CANDLE -- A rich leathery football smell any armchair quarterback will enjoy.
Birthday candles are for birthdays, and PIGSKIN CANDLES are for Sundays. Show your devotion to America's greatest organized activity by making your house smell like a football factory. A perfect gift for your favorite sports nut.
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THE PINE CANDLE (Glass)
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Our Price: $5.95
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THE PINE CANDLE -- No needles, no sap, just pine.
If after reading this candle's name your first question is "Well what kind of pine does it smell like? Spruce? Scotch? Pinyon?" We don't know. We know pine trees are sticky, Santa prefers to deposit presents under pine trees, pinecones make awesome projectiles, and this candle smells like pine.
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THE PIPE TOBACCO CANDLE (Glass)
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Our Price: $5.95
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THE PIPE TOBACCO CANDLE -- Bloodhound, British accent, and monocle sold separately.
It's a little acknowledged fact that there are three surefire ways to make people think you're smart:
1. Fake a British accent
2. Always wear a monocle
3. Smoke a pipe
We can't help you with the first two, but we got you covered on the third one. THE PIPE TOBACCO CANDLE kicks out the aroma of a fine tobacco shop and can make the worst stank filled dorm room smell like Sherlock Holmes' study.
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THE POPCORN CANDLE (Glass)
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Our Price: $5.95
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THE POPCORN CANDLE -- Burning popcorn never smelled so good.
Nothing goes better with a movie than a metric ton of fresh popcorn. Unfortunately, that much butter and salt will kill you so we invented THE POPCORN CANDLE. Grab a gallon of soda, light your candle, and hit play.
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THE SAWDUST CANDLE (Glass)
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Our Price: $5.95
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THE SAWDUST CANDLE -- Smell like you did something constructive.
Nothing says "productivity" like a pile of sawdust; whether it's you being productive or that army of "undocumented contractors" you picked up at Home Depot, that's a different story.
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THE STEAM ROOM CANDLE (Glass)
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Our Price: $5.95
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THE STEAM ROOM CANDLE -- A towel-dropping blend of eucalyptus and menthol.
Ah, there's nothing more soothing than a nice sweat in the steam room, but with our homes in foreclosure, 401Ks underwater, and lack of gainful employment, we Americans should probably put our spa trips and ostrich egg omelets on the back burner for a little while.
Fortunately, belt tightening just got a little bit more tolerable with THE STEAM ROOM CANDLE. Just follow this simple and affordable recipe for relaxation:
Step 1: Go to the bathroom and lock the door
Step 2: Turn the shower on full blast, as hot as it'll go
Step 3: Light THE STEAM ROOM CANDLE
Step 4: Sit on throne
Step 5: Forget problems
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THE STRIPPER CANDLE (Glass)
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Our Price: $5.95
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THE STRIPPER CANDLE -- It's a candle and an alibi all in one! You don't smell like a stripper, you just smell like a candle.
This is our favorite candle. After hundreds of hours of research and a lot of dollar bills we succeeded in capturing the legendary stripper scent. If you don't know what a stripper smells like just imagine the perfume counter at your local department store times a thousand... then add some glitter. This is a perfect gift for your favorite bachelor, groomsmen, or retired stripper who misses her pole.
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THE URINAL CAKE CANDLE (Glass)
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Our Price: $5.95
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THE URINAL CAKE CANDLE -- Bring the industrial chemical freshness of a public restroom right to your home.
We're often asked if THE URINAL CAKE CANDLE smells like pee. It doesn't. It's a cinnamony floral smell that's modeled after a urinal cake our founder once relieved himself on at the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas. This candle covers both number 1 and number 2 odors and has become a regular contributor in the HOTWICKS world headquarters bathroom. This is the perfect gift for anyone that likes tacos, asparagus, and really hot chicken wings.
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THE WHISKEY CANDLE (Glass)
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Our Price: $5.95
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THE WHISKEY CANDLE -- Abuse your nose, not your liver.
We wish we could discuss the complex notes in this candle, the hints of peat and caramel, the peppery, warming finish, but our palates are calibrated for quantity not quality. What we can tell you is that this candle is strong. So strong it'd throw a bar stool at you if it had arms.
Pairs well with THE BEER CANDLE.
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